Chronic Pain - Fighting for Joy

Christy Dragotta shares her personal experience with a chronic headache, lasting several weeks and having other accompanying pain. In this episode, she begins exploring how faith and perspective can help navigate physical suffering. She discusses the emotional and spiritual challenges of pain, the importance of gratitude, and trusting God's presence in difficult times.

Transcript

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Hey friends, I am so glad you're with me today. I am in a new setting, a different setting. Um, as we are on vacation and visiting our family in Florida, as you can see, the palm trees, this is not a typical Texas setting. First of all, I'm just very grateful to have this beauty all around me. It is absolutely gorgeous here. The weather is perfect, and I'm just thankful to the Lord that we have this space that we can come to and get to visit our family and also just enjoy the beauty of God's creation in a different place. Today my topic is a little different than normal, and it is on chronic pain. And really, I had no intentions of ever doing an episode on chronic pain because it's not something I've struggled with in my life. I'm very, very grateful to say that typically I'm very healthy, but over the last few weeks I've just had a headache that won't go away. It just won't stop. And then some muscle pain in different places that it seems like when one muscle stops aching, another muscle starts aching, and there's just a lot of different pieces to this pain that I'm experiencing right now, and it it just doesn't let up unless I take medicine. And I hate taking a lot of medicine, so it has been a challenge, and I'm realizing how difficult it is to have chronic pain. And so I just wanted to give a word out there to all of you who have been suffering with chronic pain, and you know, people just don't understand what it's like. I am working with the Lord right now, trying to discover how I can best continue to have joy even with this pain that is constantly hanging over me. And it's hard to think when you have a headache, it's hard to think clearly, it is hard to do normal tasks. Um, but especially it's hard to do normal tasks with Thanksgiving and joy in your heart. Right now, I feel like the Lord has invited me into a season where I can trust him in this way that even in the pain, he is going to allow me to find the joy and learn how to function with this. And I don't believe my assignment is pain. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that I feel like I'm in a new season where I'm called to suffer physically. He is the Lord, and at any moment, he could completely come and take all the pain away. He he can do that. With one touch, he can do that. I truly believe that he is a God that can and is willing to do that very often. But I also don't want to minimize that there are times that he invites us into something so that we have greater understanding and so that we can be more compassionate towards other people that maybe before we wouldn't have understood or just wouldn't have had that compassion there. And so I am grateful to him, even in this time, just to have the mindset that is he really does invite us, even when the enemy throws something at us that isn't pleasant, he invites us always to enter into his peace and his rest. And yeah, with chronic pain, it is harder both to have rest and mental clarity. And that is something that again, I'm just learning how over these last few weeks to navigate. And I haven't done it with grace throughout, but I am learning how to have grace with myself and also then extend grace to others, even whenever I am feeling more easily frustrated or just not very good. And so I wanted to talk about the truths of God's word, even in the midst of pain and not feeling our best. And I know the enemy often uses times when we aren't feeling like ourselves to really get us down and to attack us in ways that otherwise we might not be so vulnerable. We may be more ready to fight off that attack if we didn't feel cruddy or if we didn't have a headache or if we weren't hungry or tired. So we went out to the ocean and I actually was able to go out by myself and just spend hours out there watching the waves roll in and hearing the crash of waves. It reminded me how he says that the voice of the Lord is like many waters. And I was really able to hear the many waters, the mighty rushing waters in the ocean and see his power and his beauty all around me. And it was so peaceful. Again, even in the midst of pain, it was so peaceful to just have time with God to remind myself who he is, that he is the creator of the universe. He is the one that put all things in motion, and he tells the ocean how far up on the shore it can go. And then I got to thinking about his thoughts towards us are more than the sand on the seashore. And I could literally just see down the whole seashore under my feet was just more sand than I could ever think about, and in both directions, as far as I could see, and then all the way to the bottom of the ocean. And I just got to thinking, it says that his thoughts towards us are more than that, and all of his thoughts towards us are holy and they're good. And the beauty of that is, you know, Satan wants to accuse and he wants to stand before the Lord and accuse us. But the Lord's thoughts to us are right, they are righteous, they are right, they are holy. And it's encouraging as I think about that. If I could really wrap my mind around it, and I tried yesterday as I'm sitting there in that setting, I was trying to wrap my mind around the thought that all of his thoughts towards me first are more numerous than the sands that I can see, and also they're holy. So he isn't ever accusing and ever judging me, he's just loving me. And to see the power in the waves, to imagine him, I think that was probably one of my favorite things to sit out there and try and imagine him walking on that water, and what that would be like to see a savior coming for you off the top of the water, and then the clouds were just gorgeous, and a thunderstorm had rolled through, and there was going to be another one later on. So there were a lot of clouds in the sky, and just to think that he formulated all of this, he crafted it all, and it's by design. And so, even in the pain, even in a situation that I would not have asked for, his beauty was all around me, his love was all around me, and I'm just grateful that we have a savior that's with us through all things the good times, the hard times, the easy times, the times we laugh, and then the times that we're crying or we just feel weak. And that's another piece of this that I'm learning is I used to really hate weakness. And it was easy to go to a victim or an orphan mentality when I was feeling weak or when I wasn't feeling like myself. And the Lord is inviting me to just embrace the weakness because it's in my weakness that he can be strong. And so asking him questions like, Lord, how can you be strong in this? What ways do you want to use your strength in the midst of my weakness? And you know, it's been very sweet. My family is so loving, and I I'm so grateful to have a family that doesn't um look down on me in my weakness or put labels on it. They just love me right where I'm at and they consider me in all things. And that's just it's been a really sweet time. Another experience through this is that I had to go get an MRI because having headaches for several weeks straight is not normal, it's not typical. And so we just wanted to look at what was going on with my cervical spine and my brain, and I'm so grateful to say that the results came back, and I have an unremarkable brain, which is just it's kind of funny. But you know, there was nothing to be remarked at, and that's that was beautiful, wonderful news. I was very relieved for that. And then we did find out that some of this is caused by I have four herniated discs in my neck and some arthritis. And so my daughter told me, Mom, you're really taking this grandma thing to the next level and just really embracing your new identity as grandma. And I thought that was just funny, but but you know, sitting in that MRI, it's I am claustrophobic. I don't have a lot of phobias, a lot of fears, but I have struggled with claustrophobia. I do not like to feel um restrained or bound in. And I think honestly, it's it's just hit me as I was sitting here recording this, right this moment, that as a child, because a lot of this stuff you can take back to your childhood and find out where the original source is of some kind of a fear. And um we had I had a friend that I used to play with all the time, and she had an older brother, and he was just, you know, he was a brother. So he was a little rougher than my sister that I lived with, that I was around, and we would be swimming and he would hold me, he would pin me down, and sometimes he would pin me under the water, and I did not like that at all. So much so that when my kids were growing up, I really took it very seriously. If one of them ever held the other under the water, I'd just make them get out of the pool. You can't play. If you're gonna you're gonna be in the water and you're gonna choose to hold one of your siblings under, you cannot be in the water anymore. Because it was such a, I think it was a really a traumatic thing. You feel so out of control and helpless and you can't move when something stronger than you, a force stronger than you, is holding you under. And um, that may have been part of where it came from for me. But having that MRI, I I thought, well, I'll do the open MRI where I'm sitting, and I won't have, you know, the same kind of trouble because it'll be open. But I didn't realize, you know, for the brain MRI, they actually put a helmet over your face, and it's all metal, you know, and you're in this and you can't move. And so there's even that aspect of it. As you're sitting there, you can't move. And so I was in a great amount of pain. And um, I got in the thing, and then he started scooting it back. And boy, I'm telling you that phosphobia started coming up, and I wasn't really prepared for that. I don't know why I wasn't prepared for it, but I guess I just thought, no big deal. I can do all things, right? I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. And I ended up really, I had two back to back, one for my brain and one for my cervical spine. And in these moments, it was third, like 30 minutes each. So it was almost an hour of sitting where I'm uncomfortable and I can't move, and I feel trapped. And I really just for over an hour sang that. I think it's Liana Crawford, maybe, is who sings it, but the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. And it's Psalm 23. And I was just on repeat in my mind singing that song, and I practiced counting and breathing, and even in that, the Lord was gracious to me because the tech he did not understand. I he's obviously not claustrophobic, and so he did not have understanding of what I was going through. But I was able to say, I said, I just I need to I need to go out and I need to get a drink of water, and then I need to do some deep breaths, I need to pray, and um, and it was funny because I was like, and call my husband. He said, Call your husband. Like that was the funniest thing because that he it was he was shocked to hear that calling calling my husband would be calming for me, but I was like, Yes, just to get him to pray with me. And so I ended up going out and getting a drink of water and really just praying and and talking to the Lord and saying, I know you're with me, and I know you're here with me, so there's nothing I need to be afraid of. Just help me get through this because I really wanted to make sure that there was nothing else going on in my physical body. And he had he had put it all the way back already, and so I was able to just kind of climb in, which was a different feeling than being pushed in, you know, than being put in. And the Lord gave me the grace for the next hour. And I told him after the first set of 30 minutes, I said, you know, it really helped me to know about how much longer I have. Do you mind just telling me, you know, you've got 10 minutes left or you've got five minutes left or halfway through, something like that? And so this man that did not understand my phobia at all, but was trying to be gracious to me, started coming on and saying, Okay, this one is gonna take about three and a half minutes before you have a break. And then, like when you hear silence, you can adjust yourself, you can move around a little bit if something's itching or super uncomfortable, you can fix it. And so he would say, Okay, this one's gonna last about three and a half minutes. Okay, this one's gonna last about five and a half minutes. And it was such a grace of the Lord, but it was such a relief to have him tell me, okay, this one's gonna last about five and a half minutes. Okay, you're down to your last four. And it was that was the grace of the Lord to me through this man, um, just to be able to know this is about how much longer this one set is gonna be. And of course, it's very loud, banging around and having a headache and having muscles that hurt, sitting perfectly still and having all that banging while you're in the midst of a claustrophobia. I mean, it was just a real big learning experience for me into when I am weak, leaning into the Lord. And there were moments where I thought, ooh, I just had to keep telling myself, you know, there's there's not much time left. You can do this, you can get through this. The Lord is with you. You are not alone, and just really talking with the Lord, and then, like I said, just saying that psalm and singing that song over and over gave me the grace to get through. And so, through all of these experiences, I am first of all, just realizing how much more I need to be grateful for my health when I do feel good, when I don't have a headache, when my muscles aren't hurting. And then in these times of weakness, rather than beat myself up and be frustrated with myself, I really need to learn how to be content in the Lord and say, okay, if you're allowing this to touch my body, and of course I've asked him, if this is not from you and this is just something that the enemy um wants to put on me, I reject that. And I ask you, Lord, to rebuke him in the name of Jesus that this would not touch my body anymore. But if there's something that you want me to learn in this season, God, in this small time, whatever it is that you have for me here, I want to learn. And I want to, I want to enter into that place with you where you give me peace in the midst of probably one of the most disturbing experiences of my life. And then also where you bring me joy in the midst of the pain. And so that's what I'm working on right now. And I just thought this was a lovely space. And as I'm working through this, this is called Get Honest. So I just wanted to be honest. I know a few of my episodes lately have gone out really not on time. So while I've been praying for the Lord to remove it, if it's his will, I'm also asking in the meantime, while I am dealing with it, that he would give me a new way to see things, a new perspective. And I think he always wants to give us a new perspective. And certainly it will not hurt to be able to have more compassion when people are in chronic pain. So if you are in chronic pain right now, I just want to say a special blessing over you, a special prayer. And I just want to come before you, Lord. I want to ask for my friends who are suffering and who have been suffering in chronic pain. Lord, I just ask that you would come beside them. And I do reject any assignment of the enemy against them with this pain, that if any of this pain is coming because the enemy wants to tear them down and take them down physically, I pray, Father, that you would rebuke him, set him in his right space, and that your kingdom would come on earth as it is in heaven, and that your will would be done in this one's body. God, that you would set them free from this gripping pain that is causing them to just live in a way that is so challenging day to day. But I also pray, Father, that in these moments where they are struggling, where they are having a very difficult time just functioning in a normal way or being kind or being grateful, I pray, Father, that you would give them a new perspective, that you, Father, would help them to cope with their pain in such a way that they can have joy, they can find joy, that in their weakness they would not be mad at themselves or others, Lord, but that they would be able to rest in you, truly rest even with their body in physical pain. And I know that that's possible. And I'm just grateful to you, God, that you bring us through these things so that we can learn who you are in a deeper way. And as we go deeper and deeper into discovering who you are, we find that you are compassionate and you are loving and you are merciful. And so I just ask, Lord, for my sweet friends who are suffering and have been suffering for some relief. I ask that you would touch them, even as they just reach out and try to touch the hem of your garment, Lord, that you would send a course of healing through their body, that their head, that their mind, that their everything, Lord, would come into alignment with you, and that by your touch, you would set them free from this pain. And God, that you would show that you are still a God that does miracles, and that even if the pain doesn't lessen or doesn't go away entirely, Lord, that you would remind them you are right there with them. For whatever reason, and sometimes we just don't understand, you are beside them, you are with them, and you are going to help them get through this. And they don't have to be mad at themselves for being weak, and they don't have to be mad at other people for not understanding their weakness because you do understand. And so I just ask you, Father, to be near, to be near my friends that are struggling. And I just thank you that you are always with us and you always show up. You always show up in our pain, in our joy, in every season, you are with us and you will never leave us alone. So thank you that that is who you are, and that is your character. Thank you for these beautiful surroundings on this beautiful day, God. And I just rejoice because this is the day that you have made, and I will be glad in it. And I thank you that you are with me and that you are for me. And I thank you that you are with our friends and that you are for them too. And so I just pray a blessing over my friends of healing and health and relief from pain. And yeah, I just hope that today you go forward having that conversation with God for yourself. Just what do you want me to know about this, Lord? And what do you want me to do going forward? And in all things, rejoicing because we have a savior that understands us in our weakness and is right there with us. He will never leave us alone. So I love you all. Thank you for joining me today. And I pray this blesses you as you go about the rest of your week. See you next week.