The Truth About Adoption - Part 1

Join us as we explore a powerful and emotional adoption story that highlights God's sovereign hand through every detail. This episode offers deep insights into faith, perseverance, and God's love for His children, both biological and adopted.
Have you ever been curious about how adoption can transform not just a family, but a person's relationship with God? In this heartfelt episode, Christy shares her incredible journey of trusting God's hand in the adoption process, revealing profound truths about love, faith, and divine sovereignty. This episode reminds us of the profound love God has for each of us, exemplified through the beautiful gift of adoption. Whether you're walking through the process or simply inspired by the story, may you see God's hands guiding every detail in your life and the lives of those around you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hey friends, welcome to Get Honest, the podcast where we're gonna talk about real things that encourage you to live an authentic life of faith. So I'm glad you're here with me today. Today I am so excited to be talking about adoption. And this is this this topic had the single biggest impact on my walk with the Lord, probably over every other impact. And it's very interesting to me because I have had a lot of children, and those of you who have been following the show know that we are a blended family. We have eight children. I had five coming into the marriage, and he had three coming into the marriage. My five, I have four biological and one adopted, and then I actually have three biological that are also already in heaven, and so we've had a lot of kids between us, and the Bible talks constantly about we are the children of God and being co-heirs with Christ to the kingdom, and Christ is the son of God, and therefore it talks about us being adopted into the family. And always I thought that was a beautiful thing. But if we're real, like if we're talking truthfully in movies, old cartoons, like I remember watching sitcoms whenever I was younger, and if the sibling would get mad at the other sibling, they'd be like, Well, you're adopted. They would use that terminology as if adoption meant less somehow. They would use that as some kind of a slur against their brother or sister, and you know, we just laughed and da-da-da-da-da. And even as a young kid, I remember it's crazy because I was raised in the when the Cabbage Patch kids first came out. I understand I'm dating myself, but um when they first came out, you know, the coolest thing about it, it wasn't just a baby doll, it was a baby doll that you could actually adopt, and it came with a birth certificate, and you gave it your last name, and and so I did end up getting a cabbage patch doll. But when I told my mom I I had told her I wanted to adopt, I was probably seven or eight or maybe nine, but I really feel like it was before I was eight years old that I already had it in my heart I wanted to adopt, and I'm not sure. Maybe there was a couple at church, probably, that had either adopted or had talked about adopting, and the Lord just put it in my heart. That's that is something that will impact your life forever. And so, from being very young, I remember having such a positive view of adoption, but it wasn't until I actually went through the process of adopting a child that I started to understand what the Lord meant when he says we are adopted into his family, and it's just so much bigger than uh the words that I have in this podcast. So I'm gonna try to do a good job of bringing you into the emotion of it all. But you know, there's a lot that goes on when you are thinking of adopting, and for us, it didn't come from the inability to biologically have children, it was simply that desire that was placed in my heart from the time I was really young to adopt a child. So part of our journey was I ended up calling uh Kim Schoms, who was the founder of Aguiland Pregnancy Outreach, and just said, Look, we have four children, and it was really we had three children, and I was currently pregnant with our fourth. Are we even a candidate to adopt? Like, can we be added into the mix of families? Because I understand as we're going through the orientation process and the paperwork, we have what most people would consider a full family. And because we were already over the you know, two and a half kids or whatever that most Americans had, and so I wanted to consider the feelings of the other women and the other, you know, the other couples in the room that were looking to adopt, and maybe they had been struggling with infertility or just any number of reasons that they could not have children. And here we are, I'm pregnant coming to the meetings, and so it just felt a little insensitive, but at the same time, I could not deny the desire God had placed in my heart to have a child through adoption, so it really was awoken in me, like I said, while we were already expecting our fourth child, I had really thought that I was going to adopt from overseas. I don't really know why that was in my mind. I think I had read an article a really long time ago about how in China you could only have one child, and many families because of the way that things run there and just how things were, and this was at least back in the 90s. I don't I'm not really sure how it is now, but at that time you could only have one child, and they were actually killing many female babies because you could only have one child, and most people wanted it to be the son so that he could carry on the family name. And I was horrified by the story of people leaving their babies in dumpsters and leaving their babies on the street, and in my mind, I was just like, I want to adopt from China because I want to save a little girl who otherwise might be killed, and that was kind of my mentality when we first started. But then through life, as God often does, He brings people into your path, and it is never an accident. And so at the time I owned a daycare and was there every day, and it was a drop-in daycare, so that parents who needed to run to the grocery store or had errands to run that were going to be gone a few hours and didn't want to place their child in daycare every day, but needed somebody like a babysitter that they could trust that was always going to be available the hours they needed, and it's a fabulous concept. And um, anyway, we didn't create it, we just were able to purchase the business. And so I was working in that business and I met Kim, and she had brought her boys to our facility because she was taking a day trip to Oklahoma, and she was going to, or maybe she was gone longer than the day, but and her husband picked up or something, but she needed care for them, and usually she stayed at home with them. We always talked about the Lord, and so when she came in, I was asking her, you know, what she was doing, and she told me she was going to Oklahoma because the model for the type of agency she wanted to be, the pregnancy outreach center she wanted to be, was in Oklahoma. So I was able to keep her voice and just loved that, but loved her, loved her heart, loved her mission. And so as years went on, and then when adoption really became like this, I really strongly feel like this is our next step. The next right step was to call Kim. I had a relationship there, I did not feel like it was by accident that the Lord connected us, and so I just called her simply to ask her can we even, would we even be considered to adopt from Aguiland Pregnancy Outreach? And at that point, I knew so many more things about what they did and how they loved on women who were pregnant and in unexpected pregnancies, and just all the ways they were working to help these women who were in situations they never asked to be in or they didn't expect to find themselves in. And so it was just a beautiful the way the Lord brought it about was just beautiful. And so I I had that conversation with her, and because we had a history of about 15 years at that point, she said, if the Lord's putting this in your heart, I know and believe that you're gonna be able to love more than the four children that you already have, and so yes, let's just start the process and see what happens because the way they do it is you create a lifebook, and the families who are placing their children in an adoptive situation actually get to pick the parent, the the adoptive parents. So we just we started the process and we started working on our life book, and I think we finally turned it in in September. And through the process, you know, you go through an orientation, you go through trainings, and you read books, and you create this lifebook that talks about your family and why you want to adopt. At the time, scrapbooking was really popular, and so I loved the idea of that because I scrapbooked already for my family, and so I just put together this lifebook, and like I said, it took us a while to get it all turned in, but in September we turned it in, and then you just wait, and that's the part of adoption that you know everybody kind of has it in their mind. We start this process of adoption, we're going to get paired with our birth mother before she gives birth, she's going to love us, we're going to be invited into the birthroom. You know, you just have all of these things that you hope to be true that you want to be the case, but each adoption is so different, it's so unique, and every person involved is so unique, but the Lord is the same Lord over all of them, and so there are so many gifts in the process. And as everyone gets to look at the packet of information and fill out the packet of information, you can designate if there is something you can or cannot do, or you can even be as specific as to say, I want a boy or I'd like a girl. You can say if there's anything that you aren't willing to do, and so we looked at the list because there's a lot of factors that can be involved. You know, if there was a birth mom that was on drugs, you can say, I don't I don't want the baby to have come from a place where the birth mom used drugs and alcohol. Or for us, we felt like having four children, we could not have a terminally ill child. That was the only thing that we checked. We did not have preference, whether it was a boy or a girl, we did not have preference on any other of the questions that they asked. But the one thing that we said we can't do was to adopt a terminally ill child, and part of that was financial reasons, and another part of that was really considering the impact of bringing a terminally ill child into our family with four small children, what that would look like. And you know, if you've been a part of the show, you already know that I lost my oldest son Jacob just not even five years after our Mia was born, and so we did not know that death would enter our family, um, but we we did not feel equipped to adopt a terminally ill child, and so we had no idea what that was going to look like, and we also were prepared for the fact that since we already had a family and not even just a small family, not just one child, we have four children, we may very well not ever get picked for adoption outside of the what of the fact that we knew that God was putting this in our hearts to do. It felt like the odds were against us because wouldn't a birth mom want her child to go into a family that either didn't have any children or had only one or two children, so that that child could receive all the love and care and almost a single attention from the adoptive parents. And so there was every kind of fear, right, trying to come into it, but thankfully, by the grace of God, and I can really say it was the grace of God because in my own faith I wasn't this strong, but the Lord increased my faith because he had so made it clear to me this was the way and that this was what he was calling us to. I knew even if we had to wait for a very long time, he had a child in mind for our family. That didn't mean the waiting was easy, like I would never say, Oh, it was just easy to wait. Like, no, it was killer to wait. I just didn't ever know, you know, are we gonna get a call or not? So it was a waiting process that caused us to turn to the Lord and look to him for strength and to say, God, how do we wait in faith, knowing that this was your call and your plan, and so anything that you have called us to, you are faithful to fulfill. We don't have to do the right thing, do something to make it work. He's the one that will see it through. He begins it and he finishes it. He is the author and the perfecter of our faith. He wills and works to bring about what he wants in our lives. And so resting in him and waiting, that was a huge part of the process. Just learning to trust that even though we didn't understand the timing, his timing was perfect. As we went forward and waited, we we had a very different experience than a lot of families. And part of that was we were we had signed up to be part of a high-risk adoptive situation, and that means whether or not the birth mother was cooperative and whether or not the child was gonna have significant health issues coming from the use of drugs and alcohol and those kinds of things. And so when the agency, when they were introduced to our birth mother, she had already given birth, and so we were not invited to be in the room, and we were not invited to be a part of that process. But I want to I actually want to take you back a little bit before this. So they encourage you to write letters to your birth mom, even when you don't have a birth mother, when you don't know who your birth mother is, just to write letters. And so I had begun writing letters and prayers for our birth mom, and the Lord actually would wake me in the middle of the night sometimes with something just gripping my heart to pray for our birth mother. So one night I'm I prayed so strong, and it wasn't just one night, but one night he woke me from sleep to pray that she would not have an abortion. And another night he woke me from sleep and I was praying so hard that she wouldn't be getting physically abused during her pregnancy. And there were several nights like that where I would just wake up and be gripped with I've got to pray for her, I've got to pray for her right now. Like I said, we didn't know our birth mother at this time. This was months before we ever heard a word about our birth mother, and I had no idea if we even had a birth mother at that point, like if she was even pregnant at that time, but I just knew what the Lord was putting in my heart and waking me up. And I was walking through a store and the Lord, I don't even remember. I wish I would have written down the process more because I feel like there are so many parts of this story that are just beyond explanation outside of God and his faithfulness, but he had really put it in my heart and mind that we were going to have a Hispanic little girl. And even as I was walking through a store, this was in early December, they had some baby's first Christmas outfits out, and you know, I remember him saying to me, and I didn't I didn't recognize his voice, I didn't, I just thought, oh, that's a silly thought. I just dismissed it as a silly thought because I this is what I'm talking about, like I wasn't walking in that moment in the deepest faith, but I thought to myself, oh, I should buy this because it was pink and it was cute and it was Christmassy, and I thought, I am crazy, like we we haven't even we don't even have a birth mom, so why would I buy this outfit? And I just dismissed it, but also he put in my heart to make a baby blanket for her, and so I did go out on faith and go buy all pink soft silky material to make her a baby blanket, and I'm telling you, it was not my first baby blanket to make, um, but the amount of tears that went into that blanket, the amount of prayer that went into that blanket and making that blanket, and oh, I couldn't get it right. It was harder to make than the other blankets that I had made, and I just kept running into problem after problem, and I was crying and talking to the Lord, and I know part of it too was the you know, when when are we gonna get this little girl? You know, when because it had been quite some time that we had been waiting at that point, and so I I made that blanket and I had that little pink blanket in faith. Well, crazy enough, a very short time after I had gone to the store and seen that cute little Christmas outfit, we got the phone call, and the phone call was there's a precious little baby girl born on December the 4th, and they started talking about her and her situation, and from the moment he said, There's a baby girl, I knew I knew with all of my heart that was my baby girl. I knew it, and so I literally just got down on my knees on the floor and listened to everything they had to say about the situation, and it was that her birth mom had been on drugs every day that she was pregnant with her, that she had drank alcohol every day that she was pregnant with her, and that she was not excited about placing her child in an adoptive situation. And so there were three huge things that felt like obstacles or risks, but in my heart, the Lord just was so clear that was my little girl, it wouldn't have mattered what they said at that point about her because I knew that I knew that I knew this was the call we were waiting on. And as we listened through the call, I was very quiet, and that was very outside of the norm for me. And so we had our caseworker Don and Kim on the phone with us, and Kim, who had known me at that point, like I said, for more than 15 years, said, Christy, you've been very quiet. I'm interested to know what you're thinking. And I had been quiet because I was literally just on my face on the floor, sobbing, um rejoicing at the faithfulness of God, just being overwhelmed by his goodness and his love for both our our birth mom and our adoptive daughter and us. And it was just the most beautiful, it was just such a beautiful experience, and so I said, you know, I'm not in the same room with my husband. I have no idea what he what he is thinking, but I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt, I believe you just described my little girl to me. It was just such a beautiful, it was just a beautiful phone call. There was something inside of me that just knew this this was right, this was our daughter. And so I had already made that blanket, and my questions are you know, she she was born early, she was born four weeks early, so she was in the NICU. When she was born, um, she was not breathing, and so they had to give her oxygen, and there were just things like that that they were saying, so it might be some days before we could meet her. And the call came in on December the 8th, and she had been born on December the 4th. I only had one question for them after they got done. She asked, you know, do you have any questions? And I said, you know, the only question I have, you didn't mention the race, and you know, I don't care at all what race this child is. You've this is my daughter, but I'm just curious because this is where I knew the Lord had told me I would have a Hispanic little girl, and I just was looking for the confirmation that I had heard him correctly, and at that point I even realized I had heard him correctly about the outfit that that was not a silly idea, but it was actually the Lord prompting me to buy that outfit because my little girl was born on December 4th, and we would bring her home before Christmas, and so I was sad by my lack of faith and that I hadn't done it, but at the same time, very thankful that I had followed through on making the pink blanket. And so Don said, Well, she's primarily Hispanic and a little black and a little white, and I just was elated. I was so, my faith was so bolstered by the fact that the Lord had not only told me we would have a daughter. But he had even spoken to parts of her heritage that were, it was just such a confirmation that this was our little girl. And there was a story of another friend of ours who was in an unexpected pregnancy, and she is Hispanic, and she was pregnant with a little girl. And we had even talked and had conversations about is God saying it's your little girl that I was supposed to adopt. And neither one of us felt like it was the right thing. We both prayed. There was hope in my heart that it was true. There was even at one point hope in her heart that that's the way that it would work out. But then the Lord made it so clear to both of us that was not his plan. And so this, as a confirmation, was just beautiful. And we found we got that call pretty much in the almost in the evening time. So I had asked them, I really wanted to see her, and so I asked them what that process looks like. And because she was in the NICU, the visiting hours were already shortened, but also because her birth mom was not looking to place her in an adoptive family, there wasn't any paperwork that gave us the authority to go and see her. At that point, we just again had to wait. But I told my husband, I said, I I really need to go to the hospital right now, and I need to pray. I know we won't be able to see her, I know we won't be able to be in the same room, but I have to get up there and I have to pray in the hospital. So we did. We went up to the hospital and we went up to the floor where the babies were, and all the curtains were drawn, it was late at night, and um it was dark in there, and of course, the NICU would have been even in a place where you couldn't see it from the front, and I just set my hand on that glass and just prayed and prayed, and I felt this feeling in my stomach that I had never felt before. Because always before I'd given birth and I had had my child right there in my arms, and even if they were at the nursery, I could ask and have them go get my baby and bring them to me. But this was the first time I could not hold my baby, I could not reach out to her and comfort her. And I really just didn't, it was literally like butterflies in my stomach just to know I was that close to her, but I couldn't get her. And um I just I just couldn't, I can't really ex give a full explanation of the way that I felt that day and the following day. But we just prayed and we prayed and we prayed, and um the entire family agreed to fast, and a few friends of ours fasted with us as well, just that we would be able to bring her home soon. And she was thriving in the NICU, so her health issues weren't an issue, but there was just there were obstacles to be overcome, and so on the 10th we got the call that we could go see her that afternoon and at three o'clock for her feeding time, and again, since she was still in the NICU, you could only go every three hours, but her birth mom had signed the paperwork for the adoption agency, and so we could finally come and see her, and so it was crazy because that was, I guess, um we started fasting on the 8th, and we had fasted the 9th, and this was the 10th, so it was the third day. Um, and even my children had agreed to fast with us, and it was not exactly the same way that we were fasting, but it was um they were skipping breakfast on the morning of the 10th. Well, that day, this was December the 10th of 2008, and as we woke up that morning, the weather had been really cold and it had been snowing, and it just snowed and it snowed and it snowed. There was actually snow sticking on the ground, which in Texas does not happen very often, and so it was just snowing and it continued to snow throughout the day. It was wild, and so that day we had school canceled, and the kids didn't have to go to school, so they were building snowmen in the backyard, and we were just having a great morning, and we got the call in that we could go and see her that afternoon. I already had a car seat for her, and I already had that uh ready to go, and I had a little outfit to put her in because since I had failed to buy the first outfit, I went straight to the store and bought another outfit for her, and of course, I had already had the pink blanket ready to go, and I had been sleeping with it because they say in adoption, you know, it's a really good idea to get your smell on things that you can leave with the baby so that the baby can have your smell. You know, all of the sights and sounds and things that the baby has had up into their life up to that point have been from the birth mom, and so she would have been completely unfamiliar with my smell, with my touch, with my voice, with all of those things, and so just anything to help her find comfort more quickly, we wanted to do that, and so we got up there that day to the hospital, and I was so excited to be there. Well, our birth mom, we did not know this at this at the time, but as we were coming up with the car seat and getting in the elevator, we rode up with a woman and her sister, and um, you know, I was overjoyed, so I was just kind of bubbling over, and it was like, How are you today? and good, and then she I guess she asked how we weren't we're really good, we're coming to see our daughter who we are adopting, and um you know, we just explained. I don't even remember the words that I used, but we just explained, and she's she looks at me and she says, I think you're here for my baby. And it was such a surreal moment to be in an elevator with our birth mom, who I had prayed for so much so often, and with such depth and tears, and to be standing there with her, it was really an unbelievable moment. And so we had she had just said that as the elevator doors open, and there's everybody from the adoption agency, and you can imagine the surprise on their face when the birth mom and her sister are standing on the elevator with the adoptive family, and so it was just such an interesting, beautiful moment, and so our birth mom was there to basically come hold her and say goodbye, and there was a gravity in that moment, and so she went and took her time and was just holding her and looking at her, and in the meantime, we were out in the hallway really trying to process the gravity of that moment, and it's really impossible for someone who has never been in those shoes to process the gravity of that situation, to understand the sacrifice that there is in knowing you want a better life for your child than you are able to provide, and so you have to look elsewhere, and it was just a very solemn, beautiful moment to stand there, and I'm so grateful to the Lord that we had that experience because it gave us more compassion for the situation that she was in, and then as um you know, she came out and they came to get us and and bring us back, I had prayed so much, and from the moment we heard about our daughter being born on the 8th, I was just praying. Like I can't, like I said, I can't explain to you the urgency I had to hold her. And there were so many dialogues in my mind about if she is coming off of drugs, she may be crying in the corner, and because they understand there's nothing they can really do except for let her go through the withdrawals. Maybe she's just being left alone to cry, and I couldn't, I just couldn't stomach that. And so my prayers were Lord, please let that staff just love her, let them have an unbelievable love and attachment to her, and let them, Lord, be my arms because I can't put my arms around her and let them sing to her and hold her close, that she would not for one minute feel like she isn't loved or accepted, and I just I prayed and prayed that the Lord Himself would hold her and love her, and that she would feel his presence and his nearness, and so those were my prayers. And so, as we were going, I'm talking to the nurse, and I again I had a ton of compassion for our birth mom, and I had written her so many letters that in my heart I just loved her, and I loved our daughter who was in there, and I'm talking with the nurse, and the nurse is not being very nice to me because I was saying loving and kind things about our birth mom, and she just was asking me different questions, but she wasn't asking me questions like in a nice way, so it was very interesting, and I just kind of pushed past that and I started asking her questions, and I just said, you know, has she cried much? She said, No, she's just been one of the most peaceful babies that we've had in the NICU, and she's just at peace and she's just quiet. And I said, Oh, I said I was I was so praying that there would be someone that would be holding her, and I was so afraid that she would be off to herself and having to cry out, you know, and then having withdrawals, and she was like, No, and she said, In fact, that's where she spent most of her time, and she pointed over to this beautiful woman in a rocky chair, and the woman at that moment had a baby in her arms, and she was just rocking that baby, and you could just see the love pouring from this woman, and it was like the Lord just said, Do you see? Do you see how I've loved her? And so then, as I'm talking to her more, I just asked her, you know, I was going in to give her her feeding, and because again, feeding time is really the only time that you could go, and her birth mom had declined feeding her and just had held her and spent some time, and so I um I said I would love to feed her, and I said, you know, I know this is a strange question, but I actually and I I left this out of the story earlier, but I had been praying that I would still have milk from my son, and he was born in December of 2007, and so this is December of 2008, and I had continued nursing him, but just like two weeks before he had started slowing down in his nursing, and then three days before he stopped nursing at night altogether, and I remember sitting and crying in my rocking chair, um, just praying for at this point, you know, I don't even know anything about having a birth mom or anything like this because, like I said, we didn't even find out about her till she was already born, and just crying to the Lord and saying, I, you know, I wanted to nurse her, but if that's not your will, it's okay. It's okay, I can give that up. But I really had it in my heart, I wanted to be able to nurse her, and so it was just days later that we got the call that she was born, and it was such a beautiful picture because he was showing me his timing is perfect, and so I was able to nurse her, and so I asked the nurse, you know, I would I would actually prefer to nurse her, and she looked at me like I was crazy because, of course, you know, you can't just walk in and nurse a baby, but she didn't know that I had an almost one-year-old at home, but then her the look on her face changes, and I was like, I I understand how this works, but I've have a son who is just 11 months old, and I've I've been nursing him, and she was like, Oh, and she was like, Are you going to try to nurse both of them? And she was kind of cross with me about it, and again, like, I'm just trying to figure out why she's being so mean to me, you know, she wasn't mean, but she just wasn't warm, right? Inviting, so I said, No, you know, I've just been nursing him this long because I hoped that I would get to nurse our adopted daughter, and she's then everything changed in her face, and I just kept and I said, and I'm just so sad. I I had a blanket that I had made for her, but I've left it at home, and so I don't have that, and I was just so sad because I had forgotten it, but I had brought the little outfit, and and so um I asked her, Do you think at some point you could change her into this outfit? Because I really want her to be able to start being familiar with my smell as soon as possible, and I just talked so much about how much I loved her already. Something then changed for this nurse, and she started just being very kind to me, and she was like, Yes, of course, you can nurse her. And so I got her, and I mean, she just latched on immediately. Nursing was not always easy for me, and so the fact that she just latched on immediately and was able to nurse so quickly was just again, it was just another miracle, it was just another beautiful thing that the Lord had done, and but I didn't know how milk works, you know. Like I know in the first few days of life, they're um you know, the stuff that they're getting isn't exactly like it's filling their belly, it just works different, and so but I had been nursing an 11-month-old, and so I know milk supply is different, and so I just had to pray about all that, but after I was able to nurse her and spend that time, I took every moment with her that I could, and then the nurse came back and said, Okay, we have to get her back to the NICU, and I was like, uh, okay, and I really I never wanted to let her go, like I just um, I just loved her so much, and so I knew we had to, I knew I had to give her back, but I asked her, Can we come back? Can I come back and um at her next feeding? And she was like, Of course, yes, you can come back, it'll be at six o'clock, and you can come at that time. And I said, Okay. And as we were leaving, I said, you know, would you please, I would love for you to offer her a bottle because I don't I didn't know how all the milk worked and stuff, and I said, I don't know if she has gotten what she needs to be full. And uh, and she said, Yeah, of course, I'll do that. And so then uh we left, and then I mean, I just cried and prayed um first with just Thanksgiving first, just with Thanksgiving, that the Lord was so kind to us, and oh how I loved this little girl from the moment I saw her, and it was just so beautiful, it was just such a beautiful thing, and at the same time, I felt like my heart was ripping from me because again I couldn't take her back with me, but now I had the assurance that she was so loved and cared for in that NICU in the nurse's station. They were all loving on her, they were they she had assured me, that nurse had assured me of their love, and then as we're driving, the Lord just revealed to me why she had been so standoffish at first with me, and it was because she so loved our little Mia that she didn't want her to just go with anyone, she wanted to make sure that whoever was coming to care for her was going to care greatly for her, and so the Lord just showed me again, he confirmed how he had answered my prayers that she would never be alone over there crying by herself, that she would always have loving arms that would hold her so that she would know how loved she was. And it was just a beautiful time, and so we went and I got something to eat and then grabbed the blanket, of course, and and grabbed the car seat, and they had told us we could come back, but there was probably you know that it was unlikely that we were gonna be able to take her home that day, and I had made it up in my mind I could not leave that baby again, and so and so I um I started this I asked them, you know, well, what's the when we came back at six? I was like, are we gonna be able to take her home? And they, you know, they said, I'm trying to remember if it was six or nine o'clock we were able to bring her home that day. It might have been not until the nine o'clock feeding. Um, but so I I asked her, you know, what what do we need to do? And she says, Well, I mean, one of the biggest things is you have to be certified in CPR. And I said, I've been teaching CPR for 15 years, and so yes, I am not only certified, but I am certified to teach it. So that was check one. And they're like, Well, you have to have a car seat, and she has to be able to tolerate being in the car seat for a certain length of time before we can let her go home. And I said, Okay, we're leaving the car seat with you. Can you please make sure she sits in it and have and meets that criteria? And so she said that she would, and then the doctor had to approve it, and so we spent so much time just praying and praying and praying that I would be able to bring her home that day, and um, like I said, that was December the 10th, and so fed her at six o'clock, and then I think we did have to go back at nine o'clock, but we were able to pick her up and take her home, and the nurse had dressed her in the little outfit I had brought, and it was just unbelievable. The whole thing um was just so beautiful, so beautiful, and because of the delay, it had actually given my sister time to drive from Dallas to Brian College Station and um get to us to meet her on the night we brought her home, which was just unbelievable because it was also a snowstorm, like it was snowing, it was snowing everywhere, and so it's just one of the most memorable days of my life, and that whole story was so just unbelievable. But there's so many more layers of this that I haven't even gotten into. So, this is the beginning of the adoption story, and I can't wait to share the rest of it with you. There's much, much more, and I really look forward to the time to share it. But we're already going long again today, so this will become a two-part series, and yeah, I can't wait to tell you the rest of the story. I hope you are encouraged by what you've heard so far. So, I want to wrap up this part by just saying for those of you who are listening who may be in the process of adoption or have maybe considered adoption and you aren't sure, you're still just praying through it. I would really encourage you to continue to have conversations with God about it. I can tell you, and as you'll hear in part two, there is nothing that has impacted my life so much as adoption. God has never revealed his love for me any more clearly than he did while we were going through the process of adoption as well as after we were able to bring her home. So I look forward to sharing that part of the story with you. Thank you for being with me today, and thank you for listening, and I look forward to seeing you next week.